This made so much sense at the beginning

The Devil's Advocate

Listen to me like you've never listened to anyone before in your life. Because as long as you're out boning Melissa you're not home killing your wife.

That's my job.

Where does he fuck?

How's this? I started the case with a clear conscience.

She's damaged goods.

Lloyd, as your attorney I'm advising you to keep the fuck away from me.

[wh] Devil’s Advocate? Devil’s Shmadvocate! What isn’t wrong with this movie? Keanu even has an accent in this one. This movie could have been good if it were an hour and a half and didn’t have those weird scenes with Charlize Theron having her uterus eaten by a baby. I’ll even accept that Keanu having sex with his half-sister in order to deliver the ultimate spawn of Satan is a good plot device. Hell, I’ll even accept Al Pacino in his later years of pure yelling and “Hoo-hawing” (ok, even that is a stretch). But I will not for the life of me accept that stupid thing Al does with his tongue in almost every scene; it’s a weird, and dare I say, creepy tongue flick that is supposed to show us how much fun the devil is having at the moment. Screw that; I’m not having fun.


[wh] Did I lose some kind of bet with god? Make that the devil. I meant to say Pacino. Did I lose some kind of bet with the Pacino? I’m certain if it weren’t 3 fucking days long, this would be a good movie. I can see a good movie here. There are some pretty good moments. Those moments are not aided by Pacino, who extends his “crazy mentor” streak of “hoo-aaah“ness to roughly 8000 consecutive movies (everything since “Me, Natalie” in 1969 all the way to whatever he is currently filming with Colin Farrell) – but this crazy mentor, just happens to be the devil! Bwaahaahahahaha! This is good for Pacino, because his ridiculousness is almost justified – the devil could possibly be a complete overacting kook. That does not explain the unexplainable waste of a great performance by Keanu (accent included) in this feature (long enough to be featurelength&ahalf) length film. What happened? Tell me. Help me.



Al PacinoSaaaaaatan!?!
Charlize TheronMary Ann Lomax
Connie NielsenChristabella Andreoli
Delroy LindoPhillipe Moyez (uncredited)
Jeffrey JonesEddie Barzoon
Judith IveyMrs. Alice Lomax
Leo BurmesterFlorida Prosecutor

I'm trying to have a real conversation, and you're trying to psychoanalyze me. — the watcher