Devilled Hams

"Almost two" or "3 fucking days" "and a half" need to be devoted to "even accept" this "general gratuitous", "stupid", "creepy" movie; "in order to deliver" "how much fun" fans are "not having" "in almost every scene", they all make "some kind of bet" about how many "consecutive" "Colin Farrell" "great performance"s they could watch in the time it takes to watch "Devil's Advocate" once.

[wh] Can we just start by saying this movie is almost two and a half HOURS long? And that even then, Hackford left another half an hour of film on the cutting-room floor? That ought to give an idea of what happened: someone got all dressed up with what was a mediocre idea and realized they had nowhere to go, so thought they might as well just keep piling on the gore, bloody violence and other general gratuitous disgustingness. And can you name me a movie in the last fifteen years where Al Pacino HASN'T played an older mentor figure with a screw loose?

Carla

[wh] Devil's Advocate? Devil's Shmadvocate! What isn't wrong with this movie? Keanu even has an accent in this one. This movie could have been good if it were an hour and a half and didn't have those weird scenes with Charlize Theron having her uterus eaten by a baby. I'll even accept that Keanu having sex with his half-sister in order to deliver the ultimate spawn of Satan is a good plot device. Hell, I'll even accept Al Pacino in his later years of pure yelling and "Hoo-hawing" (ok, even that is a stretch). But I will not for the life of me accept that stupid thing Al does with his tongue in almost every scene; it's a weird, and dare I say, creepy tongue flick that is supposed to show us how much fun the devil is having at the moment. Screw that; I'm not having fun.

Jeff

[wh] Did I lose some kind of bet with god? Make that the devil. I meant to say Pacino. Did I lose some kind of bet with the Pacino? I'm certain if it weren't 3 fucking days long, this would be a good movie. I can see a good movie here. There are some pretty good moments. Those moments are not aided by Pacino, who extends his "crazy mentor" streak of "hoo-aaah"ness to roughly 8000 consecutive movies (everything since "Me, Natalie" in 1969 all the way to whatever he is currently filming with Colin Farrell) - but this crazy mentor, just happens to be the devil! Bwaahaahahahaha! This is good for Pacino, because his ridiculousness is almost justified - the devil could possibly be a complete overacting kook. That does not explain the unexplainable waste of a great performance by Keanu (accent included) in this feature (long enough to be featurelength&ahalf) length film. What happened? Tell me. Help me.

Matt